Introduction
Have you ever felt like crawling into a hole when all eyes are on you? Like the very thought of speaking up, showing your work or just existing in the spotlight makes you want to evaporate? You fee afraid of being seen? If so, you’re not alone.
In Kenya and across Africa, many people battle the fear of being seen, but we rarely talk about it. Some call it shyness, others label it social anxiety and some don’t even have a name for it—it’s just that paralyzing feeling of wanting to shrink into the background, away from judgment, ridicule or misunderstanding.
This fear is more than just a passing discomfort; it can shape our choices, stifle our potential and keep us from pursuing opportunities that could change our lives. It lurks in classrooms, boardrooms, social gatherings and even in the digital space, where many hesitate to share their thoughts, ideas or work online for fear of criticism.
I know this struggle firsthand. For the longest time, I held back from sharing my website and online content. I’d second-guess myself, agonize over what people might think, and delay hitting ‘publish’ because—what if they thought it was trash? What if they laughed? What if I wasn’t good enough? That was until I stumbled upon a video by Tam Kaur discussing this very topic. Her words hit me hard, forcing me to confront the uncomfortable truth: I wasn’t just afraid of failure; I was afraid of being seen.
But why does this fear exist? What are its signs? And most importantly, how do we overcome it? In this article, we’ll explore the roots of the fear of being seen, how it manifests in our lives, and practical ways to break free from its grip so we can show up fully and authentically in the world.
What is the Fear of Being Seen? More Than Just Shyness
While many people think the fear of being seen is just shyness, it often goes deeper than that. Shyness is a personality trait—some people are naturally more reserved or quiet, and that’s okay. But when this discomfort turns into a crippling fear of being noticed, judged, or ridiculed, it becomes something more: social anxiety disorder (SAD).
Social anxiety disorder is a real and often debilitating condition that affects millions of people worldwide. According to a study published in the Journal of Anxiety Disorders, social anxiety impacts about 7.1% of adults globally. Yet, many cases go unreported, especially in African communities where mental health struggles are often misunderstood or stigmatized.
In many of our cultures, struggling with social anxiety is often dismissed as being “too quiet,” “not confident enough,” or “just shy.” I remember a sermon series by Pastor Mike Todd on Cuffed to—, where he spoke about how fear can hold us hostage and make us shrink back from the purpose God has for us. He said, “Fear is a liar that disguises itself as wisdom.” This hit home for me because, for a long time, I thought my reluctance to step into the spotlight was wisdom—I told myself I was just being humble, that it wasn’t necessary to put myself out there. But the truth? I was scared.
This fear can take many forms. Maybe you’ve felt it too:
- Overthinking conversations – You replay what you said over and over, wondering if you sounded stupid.
- Avoiding eye contact – Because looking at people makes you feel exposed and vulnerable.
- Fear of public speaking – Even introducing yourself in a meeting feels like torture.
- Avoiding social events – You’d rather fake being sick than show up and interact.
- Struggling with self-promotion – You have talent but can’t bring yourself to put your work out there.
What do the experts say?
I recently came across Dr. Ellen Hendriksen’s book, How to Be Yourself: Quiet Your Inner Critic and Rise Above Social Anxiety. She explains that social anxiety isn’t just about being afraid to speak up—it’s often the fear of being judged as not enough—not smart enough, not interesting enough, not attractive enough. This fear makes people hide their true selves, robbing them of opportunities and relationships that could enrich their lives.
A powerful study in Cognitive Therapy and Research found that people with social anxiety often believe others are scrutinizing them far more than they actually are. This is called the “spotlight effect”—the false perception that everyone is watching and judging you when, in reality, most people are too focused on themselves to analyze your every move.
The Bible speaks directly to this fear. In 2 Timothy 1:7, Paul reminds us:
“For God has not given us a spirit of fear and timidity, but of power, love, and self-discipline.”
This verse is a reminder that fear is not from God. It is not meant to control us or keep us from living fully. Instead, we are equipped with power—the power to show up, to speak, to live boldly as the people we were created to be.
So, if the fear of being seen has been holding you back, know this: you were not made to hide. You were made to shine. The first step to overcoming this fear is understanding it for what it is—an illusion that seeks to keep you small. But with knowledge, faith, and action, you can break free.
Why Are We So Afraid of Being Seen?
This fear isn’t random; it comes from somewhere. It’s deeply rooted in our upbringing, past experiences, and the pressure we feel from society. Understanding where it comes from can help us break free from it.
1. Cultural Upbringing & Society’s Expectations
Growing up in many African homes, we were taught that humility is everything. Self-promotion? That’s for the boastful. Speaking too much? That’s for attention-seekers. A common Swahili phrase we hear is “Usijipige kifua sana”—meaning, “Don’t beat your chest too much.” While humility is a beautiful virtue, sometimes it’s mistaken for silence and shrinking.
Think about this: in a typical Kenyan classroom, a child who raises their hand too often or expresses confidence is sometimes seen as “showing off.” Meanwhile, the quieter child is praised for being “well-behaved.” Over time, many of us internalize this message: staying small is safe.
I once heard a powerful message by Bishop T.D. Jakes, where he said:
“Some of you are afraid to shine because you don’t want to make others uncomfortable. But the people who truly love you won’t be intimidated by your light—they’ll celebrate it.”
This hit hard because, for years, I played small, afraid that standing out would make others uncomfortable. But what if we started seeing humility not as hiding but as using our gifts in a way that uplifts others?
2. Past Experiences & Trauma
Maybe you were laughed at in school for giving the wrong answer. Maybe someone shut you down when you tried to speak your mind. Or maybe you were made to feel like your voice didn’t matter.
I remember a friend sharing how, in primary school, she confidently answered a teacher’s question—only to be met with laughter when she got it wrong. From that day, she never raised her hand in class again. Even in adulthood, she struggled with speaking up in meetings, fearing she’d embarrass herself.
Research in psychology shows that negative social experiences can create limiting beliefs—deep-seated thoughts that shape how we see ourselves. If you were once ridiculed for speaking up, your brain registers that as a “dangerous” experience and conditions you to avoid it in the future. But just because something happened before doesn’t mean it has to define you forever.
If this resonates with you, ask yourself: Am I still letting a past moment of embarrassment control my present and future? If so, it’s time to take back your power.
I came across a meme today that said; `if you are living in the past, you are paying rent twice` 😀 Think about it
3. Fear of Judgment & Ridicule
“Watu watasema?” (What will people say?) is one of the biggest fears we have as Kenyans. From the way we dress to the way we speak to the career paths we choose, society has an opinion about everything. The pressure to conform is real.
A classic example is social media. Have you ever wanted to post something—a thought, a photo, a project—but then stopped yourself because you imagined people whispering about you? What if they laugh? What if they judge me?
This fear is rooted in our deep need for acceptance. Psychologists say humans are wired for belonging, which is why rejection feels so painful. But here’s the thing: no matter what you do, people will always have something to say. You could be doing great things, and someone will still criticize you. So why not just live boldly anyway?
In The Four Agreements, Don Miguel Ruiz writes:
“Nothing others do is because of you. It is because of themselves.”
Most of the time, people’s judgments come from their own insecurities, not your worth. Once you internalize this, the fear of judgment starts to lose its grip.
4. Perfectionism & Impostor Syndrome
Have you ever looked at your own success and thought, Maybe I just got lucky? Or felt like you weren’t good enough, even when others praised your work? That’s impostor syndrome—the sneaky feeling that you’re a fraud, despite evidence of your achievements.
Perfectionism and impostor syndrome go hand in hand. We overthink, we doubt, we hesitate. We tell ourselves, I’ll start my YouTube channel when I’m 100% ready. I’ll launch my business when I have everything figured out. But the truth? That day never comes, because perfection doesn’t exist.
I love how Pastor Steven Furtick once put it:
“The reason we struggle with insecurity is because we compare our behind-the-scenes with everyone else’s highlight reel.”
We see polished Instagram feeds, confident speakers, and successful entrepreneurs, and we assume they have it all together. But behind the scenes? They also had fears, struggles, and moments of doubt. The only difference is—they did it anyway.
Breaking Free from the Fear of Being Seen
The fear of being seen is deeply ingrained, but it’s not permanent. The Bible reminds us in 2 Timothy 1:7:
“For God has not given us a spirit of fear and timidity, but of power, love, and self-discipline.”
This verse is a reminder that fear is not our identity. We were created to live in power, to show up boldly, and to use our gifts without shame.
So, the question is: Will you keep hiding? Or will you step into the fullness of who you were meant to be?
How to Overcome the Fear of Being Seen
The fear of being seen can feel paralyzing, but the good news is—it’s not permanent. You can break free from it and step into confidence, purpose, and authenticity. Overcoming this fear isn’t about suddenly becoming fearless. It’s about learning to move forward despite the fear.
Let’s dive into practical steps, backed by scripture, research, and real-life wisdom, that will help you break free and thrive.
1. Acknowledge the Fear & Name It
“You can’t fight what you don’t acknowledge.”
The first step to overcoming the fear of being seen is to recognize it for what it is. Many of us push it down, pretending it’s not there, but fear thrives in the shadows. It loses power when we bring it into the light.
Instead of saying:
🛑 “That’s just how I am.”
✅ Say: “I struggle with the fear of being seen, but it does not define me.”
By naming it, you separate yourself from it. You are not your fear—you are the person who can overcome it.
📝 Try this exercise: Write down the specific fears you have. Is it the fear of judgment? Fear of failure? Fear of looking foolish? Once you see it on paper, it becomes more manageable.
📖 “When I am afraid, I put my trust in You.” – Psalm 56:3
2. Reframe Your Thoughts
“As a man thinketh in his heart, so is he.” – Proverbs 23:7
Most of our fears are created in our minds. We imagine worst-case scenarios that may never happen. To break free, we must retrain our thinking.
Instead of:
- ❌ “What if I embarrass myself?”
- ✅ Ask: “What if I inspire someone?”
Instead of:
- ❌ “What if they laugh at me?”
- ✅ Say: “What if they learn from me?”
This concept is backed by cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT), which teaches that changing our thoughts can change our emotions and behaviors. If you start viewing visibility as an opportunity rather than a threat, you’ll shift from fear to confidence.
Oprah Winfrey was once fired from her first TV job because they said she wasn’t fit for television. Imagine if she let that rejection define her? Instead, she reframed it and became one of the most influential voices in the world.
Every time a negative thought creeps in, flip it into a positive one. Write these new affirmations down and repeat them daily.
📖 “Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind.” – Romans 12:2
3. Start Small & Take Action
“Do not despise these small beginnings, for the Lord rejoices to see the work begin.” – Zechariah 4:10
The fear of being seen can feel overwhelming, so start small. You don’t have to immediately give a TED Talk or post a viral video—just take one step at a time.
💡 Steps to Take:
- Speak up in small gatherings before attempting larger ones.
- Share your work privately with a trusted friend before making it public.
- Post that blog or video even if it’s imperfect—progress beats perfection!
- Introduce yourself to one new person at a social event instead of avoiding interactions.
I remember hearing Pastor Steven Furtick preach about “confidence through action.” He said, “Courage doesn’t come before the action; it comes through the action.” In other words, waiting to “feel ready” will keep you stuck forever. You gain confidence by doing.
📖 “Faith by itself, if it is not accompanied by action, is dead.” – James 2:17
4. Embrace Vulnerability & Authenticity
“The world doesn’t need a perfect version of you; it needs the real you.”
One of the biggest reasons we fear being seen is because we think we have to be perfect first. But perfection is an illusion. People connect with realness more than flawlessness.
Brené Brown, a leading researcher on vulnerability, says, “Vulnerability is not weakness. It’s the most accurate measure of courage.” She found that people who embrace their imperfections live fuller, richer lives than those who hide behind a mask.
💡 How to Practice Authenticity:
- Share your journey, not just your highlight reel.
- Admit when you don’t know something—it makes you more relatable.
- Focus on connection over perfection.
📖 “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” – 2 Corinthians 12:9
5. Use Scriptures & Affirmations for Courage
Your words shape your reality. Speaking faith-filled affirmations and meditating on scripture will strengthen your courage.
💡 Biblical Affirmations for Confidence:
- “For God has not given me a spirit of fear, but of power, love, and a sound mind.” – 2 Timothy 1:7
- “I am fearfully and wonderfully made.” – Psalm 139:14
- “Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid.” – Joshua 1:9
Each morning, say these affirmations out loud. The more you declare them, the more they will transform your mindset.
6. Face Your Fears Head-On
“Feel the fear and do it anyway.”
At some point, you just have to take the leap. No more overthinking, no more excuses. The more you expose yourself to what scares you, the less power it has over you.
Tyler Perry used to perform in front of nearly empty theaters because no one believed in his work. But he kept showing up. Today, he owns one of the largest production studios in Hollywood.
💡 Practical Steps:
- Write down your fear. (E.g., “I’m afraid of posting my work.”)
- List the worst-case scenario. (E.g., “Some people might not like it.”)
- List the best-case scenario. (E.g., “I might inspire and help someone.”)
- Now do it anyway.
📖 “I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.” – Philippians 4:13
Step Into Your Greatness
The fear of being seen is one of the greatest barriers between you and your God-given purpose. But fear is a liar—it tells you that you’re not good enough, not ready, not worthy. The truth? You were created to shine.
If you’ve been waiting for a sign to step out of the shadows, this is it. God has given you something special—don’t hide it.
Your Next Steps:
- Name the fear and expose it.
- Reframe negative thoughts.
- Take small, courageous actions.
- Embrace authenticity over perfection.
- Speak scripture-based affirmations.
- Face your fears head-on—no more excuses.
Remember, your light isn’t just for you—it’s for the world.
📖 “You are the light of the world. A city on a hill cannot be hidden.” – Matthew 5:14
It’s time to step into who you were created to be. Shine, unapologetically. 🚀✨
Conclusion: Step Into Your Light
I am learning to embrace being seen. I am learning that it’s okay to take up space, to share my work, and to stop overthinking how others perceive me. It hasn’t always been easy, but I have come to realize that the greatest regret isn’t failing—it’s never trying at all.
For too long, I let fear sit in the driver’s seat, dictating when and how I showed up in the world. Maybe you’ve done the same. Maybe you’ve hidden your voice because you were afraid of judgment. Maybe you’ve played small because you thought people wouldn’t take you seriously. Maybe you’ve dimmed your light so others wouldn’t feel uncomfortable. But here’s the truth:
You were never meant to stay hidden.
Your voice matters.
Your story can change lives.
Think of Jesus. He did not shrink Himself to fit into the expectations of society. He did not live for the approval of the Pharisees or silence Himself to avoid criticism. Instead, He boldly walked in His purpose, knowing that some would misunderstand Him, some would oppose Him, and some would even betray Him. Yet, He fulfilled His mission anyway.
And so must you.
The Cost of Hiding
There is a cost to hiding. Every time you silence yourself, you rob the world of the wisdom, insight, and creativity that God has placed inside you. Every time you shrink back, you deny someone the encouragement they needed to keep going.
Consider Queen Esther. She could have chosen to remain hidden in the palace, living a life of comfort. But when her people were at risk, Mordecai reminded her:
“And who knows but that you have come to your royal position for such a time as this?” – Esther 4:14
What if the very thing you fear—being seen, being heard, being known—is the very thing that will set someone else free? What if God placed you here, at this time, in this generation, to make an impact that only you can make?
Your Purpose is Bigger Than Your Fear
Fear is loud, but it is not the truth. Fear will tell you:
❌ “You’re not good enough.”
❌ “You’ll embarrass yourself.”
❌ “People will judge you.”
But faith whispers:
✅ “You were made for this.”
✅ “You are equipped.”
✅ “You have everything you need to succeed.”
God did not place a calling on your life just to let fear steal it away. He has given you everything you need—gifts, talents, resources, and most of all, His presence—to step forward with confidence.
When Moses was called to lead the Israelites out of Egypt, he was terrified. He made excuses:
- “I’m not a good speaker.”
- “What if they don’t believe me?”
- “I am not qualified.”
But God’s response was simple: “I will be with you.” (Exodus 3:12)
You don’t have to be the most talented, the most confident, or the most experienced. You just have to be willing. God will do the rest.
The World Needs You to Show Up
Think of the people you admire—the ones who have made a difference in your life. Maybe it’s a preacher whose sermon changed your perspective. Maybe it’s a writer whose words gave you hope. Maybe it’s a mentor who believed in you when you didn’t believe in yourself.
Now imagine if they had let fear stop them.
What if Apostle Paul had been too afraid to preach?
What if Martin Luther King Jr. had kept his dream to himself?
And what if Maya Angelou had been too afraid to write?
Their boldness changed lives. And yours can too.
The world is waiting for what you carry. There is someone out there who needs the book you’ve been hesitant to write, the speech you’ve been afraid to give, the business you’ve been scared to start. Someone is praying for an answer, and you might be the answer to their prayer.
Let Go of the Fear of Judgment
One of the biggest obstacles to being seen is the fear of what others will say. But here’s the thing: People will always have opinions. Whether you play small or shine brightly, someone will have something to say.
Jesus was perfect, and yet He was still criticized, mocked, and rejected. If He, the Son of God, was not exempt from judgment, why should we expect to be?
But notice this—Jesus never let fear of people’s opinions stop Him from fulfilling His purpose. He kept teaching, kept healing, kept loving, regardless of the opposition.
And that’s exactly what we must do.
🌟 Let them talk.
🌟 Let them misunderstand you.
🌟 Let them criticize.
Because at the end of the day, their opinions don’t define you. God’s calling on your life does.
The African proverb says, “The lion does not turn around when the small dog barks.”
So, go be a lion. Let them talk. But don’t let them stop you from roaring. 💪🏾
How Do You Start?
1️⃣ Decide Today – Make a decision that you will no longer let fear run your life.
2️⃣ Take One Bold Step – Speak up. Share your work. Say yes to an opportunity. Do one thing that pushes you forward.
3️⃣ Stay Consistent – The more you show up, the easier it becomes. Confidence is built through action.
4️⃣ Keep Your Eyes on God – When fear rises, remember who is with you. Pray. Meditate on His promises. Move forward in faith.
Step Boldly Into Your Destiny
You were not born to blend in. You were born to stand out.
You were not created to remain in the shadows. You were made to shine.
Fear will always be there, but it does not have to control you. The moment you step out, you’ll realize that the fear was never as big as you thought it was.
So, step into your light.
Step into your purpose.
Step into the fullness of who God created you to be.
Because the world needs you.
🔥 Now, what’s one step you will take today to overcome your fear of being seen? Drop a comment, journal about it, or tell someone who will hold you accountable.
It’s time to stop hiding. It’s time to shine. 🌟
