Faith has always been a part of my life, but like any journey, it has had its twists, turns and detours. I didn’t just wake up one day with unwavering belief—it has been a process of learning, unlearning and growing in ways I never expected.
I grew up in a home where faith wasn’t just something we talked about—it was something we lived. Before any meal, we had to pause, bow our heads and pray together, no matter how hungry we were. Going to church was never optional; it was as much a part of our routine as school or chores. Sunday mornings meant dressing up, carrying a Bible and heading to church, where I was baptized as a baby. Back then, faith was something I followed because it was expected. It was routine. It was structure.
But as I got older, faith became something I had to figure out for myself. Life happened. Delays, disappointments and prayers that seemed to go unanswered made me question God in ways I never had before. I wrestled with the silence, wondering if He had forgotten me. I watched people around me move forward—careers flourishing, relationships thriving, prayers seemingly answered—while I felt stuck, waiting. And the waiting? It tested me in ways I wasn’t prepared for.
Angry with God…
There were moments I was angry with God. Really angry. Why was I still here while everyone else seemed to be making progress? I prayed, I tried to remain faithful, yet I felt like I was in the same place. The silence was deafening and for a while, I started to lose my way—not because I stopped believing, but because I was exhausted from waiting. I thought, If He’s not showing up for me, then what’s the point?
It was a slow drift—one that no one else could see, but I felt it deeply. I wasn’t as intentional with prayer. My passion for The Word dimmed. I started seeking distractions, things that would numb the frustration. I convinced myself I was just “taking a break,” but deep down, I knew I was walking dangerously close to losing myself.
But God—faithful, patient and ever-loving—drew me back. Not through some grand, dramatic moment, but through small, quiet nudges. A sermon that hit exactly where I needed it to. A worship song that softened my hardened heart. A random conversation where someone unknowingly spoke life into me. Little by little, I found my way back.
I began to understand that God’s delays are not His denials. That His best for me wasn’t on my timeline, but it was always worth the wait. Slowly, my faith stopped being something I just inherited and became something I truly owned.
Choosing God For Myself
As I grew in my faith, I started realizing that my spiritual environment mattered. That led to one of the hardest decisions I’ve ever made—changing churches. It wasn’t just about leaving a place; it was about stepping into a deeper, more personal walk with God. I needed to be in a space that challenged me to grow, that stirred my spirit and that aligned with where God was leading me.
One of the most defining moments of my journey was when I chose to be baptized as an adult. Unlike my childhood baptism, this time, it was personal. It was my decision. A declaration of my faith and my commitment to following Christ.
And then came another life-changing experience—the infilling of the Holy Spirit. I heard about it, read about it, but when it happened, it was unlike anything I ever knew. It was real, powerful and the kind of encounter that leaves you transformed from the inside out.
Reading the New Testament in Three Months
I’m still on this journey of building my relationship with God—strengthening my prayer life, learning to hear His voice, and deepening my understanding of His Word. One of the things that has really helped me is a program I joined with SGS (Spiritual Growth Steps Ministry), where we read through the entire New Testament in March.
Let me tell you, it wasn’t easy. Nine chapters daily is no joke 🫣
Some days, I was fully engaged—taking notes, cross-referencing, soaking in the wisdom. Other days? I was just trying to keep up. There were nights I was catching up on multiple chapters because I had fallen behind. Some parts of Scripture challenged me. Others convicted me. And then there were moments where I found unexpected comfort—where a verse spoke exactly to what I was going through at that time.
Despite the struggles, finishing the program felt incredible. It reminded me that discipline in faith matters. That even when we don’t “feel” like showing up, consistency builds something in us.
Lessons From My Journey
If there’s one thing I’ve learned, it’s that faith isn’t about having all the answers. It’s about trusting even when you don’t understand. About surrendering, even when things don’t go your way. It’s about holding on, even when everything in you wants to let go.
I also learned that:
- God’s timing is perfect—even when it doesn’t feel like it.
- It’s okay to ask questions—just don’t stop seeking.
- Faith isn’t about perfection—it’s about relationship.
- The Holy Spirit is real—and He will guide you when you invite Him in.
- Delays are not denials—sometimes, the waiting is shaping you.
Still Growing, Still Learning
I’m not here as someone who has it all figured out. I’m still learning. Still building my prayer life, trusting God in areas where I feel uncertain and trying to fully embrace His will, even when it doesn’t match my plans.
But here’s what I know—God is faithful.
If you’re in a season of waiting, questioning or searching, just know this: You’re not alone. Keep seeking Him. Keep holding on. Even when it’s hard. Even when it doesn’t make sense.
I’d love to hear your faith journey too. What has your walk with God been like? Let’s learn and grow together. 💛
